How to keep personal issues from affecting your career

(Cartoon inspired by Diane Q.) 

If life were a bed of roses, we could all show up at work without a care in the world. Unfortunately nobody enjoys carefree living.  Whether we had a fight with our partner, difficulties with the kids, fighting an illness, facing financial challenges, struggling with a divorce or the death of a loved one, we all have personal lives with ups and downs.  The question is, how do we keep those cumbersome issues from affecting our careers?

It is never a good idea to share personal issues with colleagues.  Unless you have known the colleague for years and trust the person completely, it is better to keep personal issues to yourself.  Whether intentionally or accidentally, the colleague might let something slip in which case your personal issues could become common knowledge.  If you feel the need to talk, talk to a professional such as a doctor, a lawyer, a bank manager or a career counsellor.  Not only might these professionals actually be able to help you, but they are bound by the code of privacy.

If you feel that your personal issues weigh you down to the point that they start affecting your career, consider taking some time off.  Going to work despite personal problems is commendable, but not always advisable.  Your mind may be on something other than work which, directly or indirectly, could affect your career.  One mistake could ruin an otherwise perfect reputation, and the last thing you need is to worry about your career while dealing with personal issues.

If you are gay or lesbian, carefully consider if you want to share your sexual preferences with your boss and colleagues.   Over the years the gay community has made tremendous progress in its acceptance, but there still are old fashioned people who might have trouble with your sexual orientation.  Before coming out, consider if this information might affect your career?  In some cases it’s better to be enigmatic than exposed.

If personal issues frequently cause you to get angry or even fly off the handle, consider doing something about that.  You may have good reason be angry, but your temper could be affecting your career.  To cool off go for a walk or if a change of environment is of no help consider an anger management course.  You could also try taking up yoga, martial arts or simply buying a punch bag.  If you can’t roll with the punches, throw some punches at the punch bag, you’ll be amazed at its calming effect.

If you are on the other hand a very shy person who wouldn’t say boo to a goose, this shyness could be affecting your career too.  To get more self-confidence, consider joining a self-help group who deals with this type of personal issue.  Shyness has a reason, something caused you to lose your confidence and it’s important to get to the root of that problem.  Once you found the reason for your low confidence you can work on it and overcome your shyness.

Regardless of your personal issues, you are not the only one with a particular problem.  If the problem starts to affect your career, get help, but be careful where to look for it.

TGIF ?

 

What a day, what a day, what a day!!!  People generally looked forward to Friday, but today was the worst day of my week. 

It started this morning when my alarm clock didn’t go off and I overslept by half an hour.  I checked the alarm clock of course, set for 5:45 a.m., but it was now 6:15 and the clock hadn’t made a peep.  My lazy morning routine suddenly changed into a rush job

Not that rushing did me any good, because when I arrived at the station I heard the announcement that due to a situation earlier at McCowen station, trains experienced a delay.  During peak hour there usually is a train every 3 – 5 minutes, but this morning the waiting time had increased to 8 minutes.

When a train eventually did roll in he was so packed with people that no new passengers fitted in.  More and more people arrived at the platform, and again we waited for about 8 minutes.  When a second train arrived only a few people managed to get on, but I wasn’t one of them.

When the third train arrived I thought – like Elvis before me – “It’s now or never”.   I pushed a little, a squeezed a bit, but I managed to get in.  It was the typical sardine in a can situation, but if it got me to work on time, a sardine I would be.

At work things didn’t improve.  I honestly think that my boss, let’s call her Catherine (not her real name), has no idea what I’m doing.  Since she didn’t have any work for me today, she went and announced to others that if anyone needed help I would be able to lend a hand.  I nearly had an attack as I do a number of things that don’t involve her.  Things such as making payments, ordering stationery, handling incoming mail, scanning documents, answering emails, etc.  True as Bob, someone needed help ... copying minute books.  This took me the better part of the afternoon.  By the time I was done, my back felt like he was going to break and my legs and feet were burning.

If this is Friday, give me a Monday any day.  Following this posting I’m going to check my Lotto numbers.  Who  knows, I might be sitting here a millionaire. 

Employment ... It's all about fitting in

Today's guest blog post comes from Diane Quinn.  Diane is a freelance writer who lives in Las Vegas and writes about anything and everything.  Check out her full bio and sample some of her articles at http://www.helium.com/users/212149

True lessons learned the hard way during employment

Each job in my life gained me more than just a paycheck-they brought me many lessons, and most were learned the hard way. Isn't that way always the best teacher?

When I was 22 years old, graduated from business school and, newly married to my husband who had just returned from Viet Nam, we moved south so that he could go to college on the G.I. Bill. Moving from Pennsylvania to Eastern Tennessee back in the late "60's" and early "70's" was the equivalent of moving to another country. Even with my diplomas and a couple of year's experience, to my dismay, I could not obtain a secretarial job.

 

We were running out of money when I went to my final job interview after three long months of hunting. The man who would become my boss appeared to be a typical charming, southern man, and he could easily see that I was qualified for the job. When we went through the usual interview dialog, he asked me if I knew why I had not been successful in getting hired. Naive that I was, I told him I had no idea. He smiled that charming smile and laughed! My eyes popped wide with surprise, not sharing his joke. He quickly added that he was willing to give me a chance, but first I had to agree to one condition. If I promised to adopt a southern accent as soon as possible, I could have the job. Because, you see, he would have "a hell of a time explaining why he hired a Yankee". No Yankee voice could answer the telephone or greet clients as they walked in the door. "Honey", he drawled. "This is the South and everyone who lives here still remembers that we lost the Civil War. 

It still makes us mad." Stunned beyond belief, I managed to keep my wits about myself and quickly agreed. When I showed up for work a few days later, I did exactly what was asked of me. In fact, my "twang" was so authentic that my family back in Pennsylvania grew quite annoyed with me.

What did I learn from this experience? I learned that when money is running out, sometimes we have to do things that we might feel are beneath our dignity. Sometimes we have to lower our standards and do-what-we-have-to-do, at least until we can figure out something better. Sometimes we have to "fake it" in order to "fit in". 

Sometimes, circumstances dictate that we have to compromise. Believe me, I did not enjoy pretending to be someone I was not.

Worse, I didn't like experiencing discrimination and prejudice for the very first time in my WASP life. By stepping over the Mason-Dixon Line, I had instantly become a minority, other than just being a woman. It was sobering. The two years that I lived and worked there my maturity grew in light years. My eyes were opened to the reality of life for other minorities and my social conscience began to evolve. I did not understand "southern" segregation. Seeing "white only" signs on water fountains and bathrooms made me uncomfortable and then angry.

I worked with some very nice people in our office. But I learned that there were some issues where boundaries could not be crossed if you wanted to maintain a good working relationship. I learned that some people are not open-minded to anything that goes against what they have been brought up to believe is correct. Bluntly stated, I learned to keep my mouth shut in the office even if I wanted to scream over the injustices that surrounded me.

There were more jobs and more years after that one in the South, but I don't think that I learned as much in such a short time as I did working in that culturally and socially challenging environment. I went there a girl, even though I was 22 and married. But, when we finally moved away, I had become a woman sensitive to the realities of the world around her.

Training complete

My training is complete.  The lady I’m taking over from thought me everything there is to know, and as from tomorrow it’s up to me to get the job done.  Oh dear, let’s hope the company survives it.

I listened to advice until my ears were ringing; peered at the computer screen until I was cross eyed; and I probably have more notes than Tolstoy did when writing “War and Peace”.

I think I’ll be okay though.  I’ve had some hands on training and it doesn’t seem all that complicated.  It was like a switch was turned on today and suddenly everything started making sense. 

Of course, the boss wasn’t there these past three days.  Once she comes back from her out of town trip everything could change.  Who knows what she all going to ask me to do!

Remember the current EA gave me her phone number and email address for when I have a problem?  Poor thing, I might flood her inbox messages and call her while she’s in the shower.

I’m tired though.  Imagine, it’s only 10:30 and I can hardly keep my eyes open.  This from someone who used to sit up until 3:00 a.m.  Of course, I didn’t get up at 5:45 in those days.

So we’re gonna keep this entry short and sweet.  My bed is calling and I’m replying with “I’m coming”.

Interview advice

 In keeping with the interview process, let’s see what Amada DeCosta has to say on the subject.  Amanda lives in Oman, and writes articles for www.helium.com and www.brighthub.com.  Amanda also has her own blog which can be found at http://mandys-pages.blogspot.com/

Let’s see what advice Amanda gives for those shaking in their boots for an upcoming interview ...

How Confident Are You At A Job interview?

An interview is the stepping-stone to landing the right job. Yet, in one's quest for the right job at the right place, building up confidence in the interview process can be daunting. This article guides the reader to the more critical points that have to be kept in mind for a confident interview.

The Perfect Job: How Confident Are You To Be Interviewed?

You've been on the lookout for a job, and finally, you've been called in to interview. For many, this is where they stumble and fail to deliver, or let's say, fail to meet up to expectations promised in a resume during the job hunt. Lack of preparation, tiredness, anxiety, and unwanted stress can play havoc to one's sense of balance and appearance at an interview. How then, is one to build confidence for a job interview? Let's take a look at a few crucial points.

1. Preparation

It is very important that when attending an interview, you are well-prepared. Being prepared means striking a sensible balance between respect for your interviewer and knowing the necessary details of your job. In order to be prepared, you might have to ask the HR department or a prospective colleague for job details in advance or look up the website of the company you are interviewing at. When you head in, you should have a good idea of why you've been called and what is expected of you.

2. Presentation

The first impression is the best impression while the last impression can also be the lasting impression. This is to say that, your presentation during the entire interview needs to be your best - from start to finish. Do what it takes to present yourself confidently. Shower and comb your hair. Dress neatly. Polish your shoes. Choose clothing that is business like, and do not choose comfort-wear or casual clothing. You should never wear a party outfit to an interview! Your hair should be arranged neatly. Make-up, if worn, shouldn't be overdone to the point that will look like you're heading out to a night club. Fingernails have to be trimmed neatly and / or polished. Teeth have to be clean. An unshaven, untidy look can be a taken as a mark of disrespect towards an interviewer. Either sport a neat beard or be clean-shaven. Many places that rent out suits for interviews. Make it a point to wear one.

3. Resume with Cover Letter

Although you may have submitted a resume prior to the interview, you may be expected to provide one or more copies of your resume depending on the number of people interviewing you. Be careful to check and double check your resume the day prior to the interview so that you are familiar with exactly what you've mentioned and are ready to turn attention towards, or answer questions pertaining to details you've recorded. A good resume is one of the main steps towards building confidence in the interview process, as it will present you in the best light possible for the job position you seek. Attach copies of supporting documents should you be asked to submit them. Your promptness to comply with their requests will be an indication of your alertness and professionalism.

4. Body language

Your body language is an indication of how confident a person you are, or how suitable and trustworthy you are too. Different postures indicate different temperaments. For example, it is not advisable to sit with your arms crossed. This shows that you are closed to suggestions and have already made up your mind about something. It also indicates that you are not one to consider another's opinion easily and have no respect for another's viewpoint. On the contrary, sit upright with your arms open and hands gracefully on your lap. Keep your legs together, and avoid slouching.

5. Ask questions

While at an interview, an interviewer expects you to ask questions. Hence, prior to the interview, you may wish to prepare a few basic questions. Such question might be, "Why do you think I would be suitable for the job?" or "What is expected of me if I am to be given this post?" Another question might be "What is the nature of the job?" Asking questions indicates that you are vigilant, following what is being explained and also ready to answer promptly and with adequate information that the interviewer seeks to obtain from you.

6. Rest

Part of building up your confidence in the interviewing process is being well-rested prior to attending the interview. Rest well. Prepare necessary things ready the day before the interview - clothes, shoes, resume, certificates, references, etc. Be fresh, active, attentive and alert during the interview while demonstrating comfort. If you are feeling nervous, it is okay if you convey this to your interviewer. The interviewer might even attempt to say something to put your anxiousness at ease.

7. Sample Questions

While you may be ready with questions you might want to ask the interviewer, you will also want to come up with answers to questions you may be asked. For this, you will have to be prepared well in advance. You do not want to find yourself stammering and stuttering over why you need this job, or what made you apply for that particular position. Prepare to answer some basic sample questions before you attend an interview.

Some basic questions may be:

• What was / is your job profile or description of work for the position last held?
• Why should we hire you?
• What are your expectations from the company?
• How would you describe yourself as an apt candidate for the post?
• What are your main strengths and weaknesses?
• Why do you want to leave your current job?
• Tell us about yourself.

8. A Confident Handshake

One of the major aspects of building confidence for a job interview that is generally overlooked by candidates is a firm, confident handshake. The handshake is the first connection between interviewer and candidate and it speaks volumes about the confidence of the one seeking a job. A handshake that is limp and sweaty can be an instant no-no for the interviewer as he might see you as non-confident, insecure and lacking professionalism. On the other hand, a good, confident, and firm handshake with direct eye contact to the interviewer can set the tone for a more convincing interview that you are right for the job. A good handshake should also convey your friendliness and openness. A double shake is all that is required to get your interviewer in the right mood.

9. Be Yourself

Last but not the least, be yourself. If you dislike Math and are not comfortable with accounting work, convey that to your interviewer. On the other hand, should you have a great interest in public speaking and possess the skills necessary for working as a public relations manager, make this known! Also, do not pretend to be somebody you are not. Providing incorrect details can only get you into trouble and lead to your disqualification. Convey your weaknesses about a particular skill if you have to, especially if it is one that may drag you into a post that you may not be suitable for. Let the interviewer know who the person is that he or she is interviewing. If you can take the trouble to fabricate a whole different picture of yourself, surely you also have the capacity to highlight the talents and skills that you are already bestowed with. Let the interviewer know the 'real you'.

If you want to read more of Amanda's advice, be sure to visit:

http://www.brighthub.com/office/career-planning/articles/122153.aspx#ixzz1WIHfF6x5